Inspirational Funny Quotes

These inspirational funny quotes will tickle your funny bone...

Weekends Don't Count Unless You Spend Them Doing Something

Funny Quote, Weekend don't count. A man being silly with the paper eyes

“Weekends don't count unless you spend them
doing something completely pointless.”
~Bill Watterson

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Reality continues to ruin my life.” ~Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

I know I am good for something, I just haven't found it yet.”~Anonymous

Laughter is a Medicine with no Side Effects!!!!!” ~Anonymous

Knowledge Versus Wisdom

Funny Quote, Knowledge versus Wisdom, two funny cats

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit not a vegetable.
Wisdom is knowing not to include it in a fruit salad.” ~Anonymous

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I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” ~Mark Twain

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.” ~Woody Allen

The future ain't what it used to be.” ~Yogi Berra

Reality continues to ruin my life.” ~Bill Watterson

The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win,you're still a rat.” ~Lily Tomlin

I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.” ~Mae West

"Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.” ~Oscar Wilde

One of the advantages of being disorganized is that one is always having surprising discoveries.” ~A.A. Milnn

If You Don't Know Where You Are Going

Funny Quote, Yogi Berra Quote, If you don't know where you are going, a confused person standing

“If you don't know where you are going,
You will end up someplace else.”
~Yogi Berra

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People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.” ~Logan Pearsall Smith

I think I've discovered the secret of life -- you just hang around until you get used to it.” ~Charles M. Schulz

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.” ~Woody Allen

You live but once; you might as well be amusing.” ~Coco Chanel

"Life is hard. After all, it kills you.”~Katharine Hepburn

How can I go forward when I don't know which way I'm facing?” ~John Lennon

You're on Earth. There's no cure for that.” ~Samuel Beckett

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” ~Elbert Hubbard

When all else fails, there's always delusion.” ~Conan O'Brien Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.” ~Thomas Stephen Szasz

You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me.” ~C.S. Lewis

People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.” ~George Bernard Shaw I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.”~Charles M. Schulz

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”~Terry Pratchett

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